"I'm only here to give you someone to leave when you get bored"


Anonymous asked
I do believe your beard has become self-aware. It's skynet for stubble.


We all have our talents.


I’m 25 now. I can rent a car through all available agencies and my insurance policies dropped about 27%. Yay.

Just 40 more years until I get that senior discount at Denny’s…


Apparently it’s my birthday. Facebook won’t leave me alone about it. I’m going to make Quebec Toast for breakfast.